i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
