I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
