then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
