I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
