do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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