just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
