I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize