tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
