Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
