my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
