and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
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