if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
