He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
