sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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