the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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