Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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