i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
