You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
