How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You ruined the universe
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
