Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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