8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't put those talents on a resume
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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