I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
