Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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