Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
