3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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