If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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