i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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