I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
