So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
