and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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