You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
