She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
