You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize