Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize