hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh god it's open bar.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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