You made me cry and you don't even care
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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