and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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