just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
