I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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