best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
