Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
