its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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