No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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