I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
