I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize