look no pants
Pants 0. Shit 1.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
