i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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