time to smoke my breakfast
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
