I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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