i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
