I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
