it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
