Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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