your thong is hanging out like whoa
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
