I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
