ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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whose parrot is this?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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