All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
