Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
