I wish I could teleport
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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