I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
where are my eyebrows?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
