i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
