It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
