Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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